Rest In Peace

My father passed today.

It was not unexpected. He battled traumatic health conditions for the better part of twenty years. We were called to his death-bed several months ago, but he bounced back (I attribute this resilience to our hearty Irish peasant stock).  This did, however, give me a chance to grieve. And I grieved a little more with every subsequent scare.  I wondered if I would have any tears left when he finally passed. I hadn’t cried today since receiving the phone call – until now.  Typing these words makes this event so real – more so than the call from my step-mother when she delivered the news.  Despite all the trial runs, I still don’t know how to process this information.

I’m not even sure why I’m writing now.  My only reasoning is that I would regret it later on – not putting my initial thoughts in writing.  This is a one shot deal. I only have one father, and I can only lose him once.

That said, I think I’ll take a break and let it all sink in.  I treated myself to some top-shelf grocery store wine (which is really quite tasty, I must say) and am starting the Midsomer Murders series all over again.  No surprise, this was one of Dad’s favorite shows as well. The man had great taste!

Rest in Peace, Dad.  I know of no one who deserves a bit of peace more than you.

12 thoughts on “Rest In Peace

    1. Thanks, Michelle. I’m sorry, too. Too much time and space between us….too much unsaid. But he was still my Dad and I loved him dearly.

  1. Sometimes we just need a witness for our grief, that’s why writing about it is a good thing, however hard. Today, when I said in my dream that I cried about my mum, that’s probably the first time since she died two years ago that I’ve said it out loud. In fact I grieve about it every day. Losing a parent is an awful thing. I’ll be thinking about you.

    1. Thank you! And I’m sure you’re right. I just needed to get it off my chest and share it with the cosmos. I’m already feeling more at east, so I think it helped.

  2. I’ve been thinking of Uncle Mike a lot lately. I agree he deserves peace.

    Sending you love and hugs.

  3. Positive thoughts & energy being sent to surround you Carolyn. I cannot imagine what you are feeling but please know I am thinking about you during this difficult time. Hugs~ Gena

    1. Thanks, Gena. The shock has worn off, and the sadness will in time. I’m already working on the positive thoughts here, and appreciate your added energy!

  4. Carolyn,
    May you find some peace at this time. I pray that happy memories of your Dad will comfort you.

    1. Thank you, Anita. I have loads of good memories, and they’re beginning to flood in already. All will be fine.

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