Holy cow, its chilly out there. I’ve already promised a number of people that I’m not going to complain about the cold this year. Just add that to my long list of broken commitments, since I seem to be on a roll.
It’s been two months since I started my new job. And I have to say, I’ve loved every minute of it. Seriously, I don’t have a single complaint and actually like going to work in the morning. Seriously! I plan to stay there as long as they’ll have me. And I hope they plan to have me a long time.
On the flip side, I started volunteering about the same time. Well, it was supposed to be a volunteer gig, but it started to feel like a job after a couple of weeks. I appreciate that an administrative job needs more structure than other positions, but after a day at my oh-so-busy job, it was just too much to handle. It was torture sitting in front of another computer for a few more hours – even if only once a week (plus homework and occasional weekends). There are many other factors that made this a less-than-ideal situation, but the time and commitment were the deal breakers.
So, I quit. Not so easily, though. I thought about it for a week. Drafted an email. Thought some more. Then finally sent my “termination” today. This whole angst thing about quitting a volunteer position is a bit absurd. I didn’t commit to a job. I didn’t join a board. I just wanted to volunteer a little of my time, learn something new, and have a little fun. And it was just not meant to be.
The real problem here is that I threw myself into yet another project, got overwhelmed, and was forced to back out. I keep telling myself that being overwhelmed is better than underwhelmed, but I still feel bad when it all falls apart. Maybe now that I’m settled in my happy place, I’ll stop trying to throw myself into something new just to find out if it will make me happy. If only I could just let things happen naturally, maybe I wouldn’t run out of gas.
(p.s. While also a silly metaphor for my state of being, this is an actual photo of my gas gauge while out leaf peeping last week. I don’t believe I’ve ever driven up into the mountains with enough gas to get home. I wonder what that says about me…)
I still plan to pursue grant writing, by the way, so I’ll have to figure out another avenue. My friend Susan hooked me up with all kinds of non-profit workshops and programs in Richmond, and I’m ready to check some out. Plus, I can always just teach myself. It ain’t rocket science! And there’s no reason why I can’t start looking for opportunities right in my own office. I sometimes forget that I don’t have to enroll in college just to learn something.
Speaking of enrolling:
My boss turned me on to a pottery class at the local community college. I don’t want to cramp his style, so I’m not going to sign up while he’s there (no one should be exposed to more than 8 hours a day of Carolyn). But I’m so excited to have something to look forward to! I really miss my clay.
And speaking of art classes:
I began re-visiting my intro to painting class syllabus a while back. I got as far as reproducing the first two assignments, then life intervened – again. I’m ready to pick up where I left off, which just so happens to be a really fun exercise. Not that this should excite anyone but me, but I’m back on track and it just feels so darn good that I wanted to share.
I’m also proud of myself for starting AND FINISHING a small painting for my friend Carol in Atlanta. It was an art swap with no limitations. She knitted me a couple of really cool leaves, and I painted her some leaves. I wasn’t really going for a fall foliage theme, but there you go. Two great minds, thinking alike. Or two chicks who really dig autumn leaves. Your pick.